Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
