Cold hands, warm shart.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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