...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
