Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
love makes seman taste better
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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