sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
