Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
