You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
