the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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