Its about making memories worth repressing
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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