At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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