His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
