Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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