I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Randomize
