i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
