So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
now i know why i became what i already was.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
