we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just high enough for therapy.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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