Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
