Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
