More tranny stories later!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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