party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
