We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Drake has all the answers
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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