They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
