I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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