just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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