How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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