she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
