You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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