im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
pop tarts are not kleenex
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
