Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
