would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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