She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
