I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Why can't burritos get me drunk
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
