3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
