can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize