nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
there was a trapeze. enough said
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
