He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
so much tequila, so little girl.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
