My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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