fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
