dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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