Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
