He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
