do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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