hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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