I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
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I need you to use more vowels.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
