OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
