On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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