thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
