Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
