Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
