a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
