you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
how drunk are you?
Several
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
