I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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