I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
