THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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