I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
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