well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
