Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
